Dating Advice

How to get a women's phone number and email ID within 3 minutes of meeting her - by David DeAngelo (author of "Double Your Dating")

Let me start off by telling you something interesting: I've personally stopped focusing on just getting phone numbers. I've found that EMAIL addresses are far better (I still get the phone number too, of course). Let me explain - getting phone numbers alone doesn't equal success.

You see, women have many different reasons for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are actually interested. But the universal feedback that I get from men, and in my personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in person.

Getting an EMAIL address is not only easier, but it gets more positive responses later on. It's almost as if women appreciate it that you've taken the time to think about what you're going to say when you write an email to them, and they think of you more like someone they know. The other benefit of email is that it can be written and answered anytime.

If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an email can be answered anytime. And I've found that emails are answered FAR more often than voice mail messages.

Here's the How To:

After I've talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I'll often say something like "Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm going to get back to my friends." They usually don't know what to do, as they're used to guys clinging to them. Most of the time, they say "It was nice meeting you too..." Then, just as I'm turning to walk away, and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say "HEY! Do you have email?"

The "HEY!" is a bit surprising, and "Do you have email" is non-threatening. In fact, I'm technically asking her if she HAS email, not if she'll GIVE IT TO ME.

If she says "yes," I take out a pen and paper and say "Great, write it down for me" and I have her write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the 'yes' that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they've almost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I say "Write your number down there too."

When you ask for email, it's very low risk for a woman, so she'll think "Fine, I'll do that." Most women will give out an email address without thinking about it, because they know that they can choose later to just not answer.

The magic of asking them to write their phone number down WHILE they're in the middle of writing down their email is all about the psychology of human behavior. She's already mentally said "OK, I'll give you my email address"... and she's in the middle of writing it down. When you say "And just write your number down there too" it's only NATURAL to just write it.

In other words, it's a MUCH smaller step than giving out the phone number all by itself. Here's a great add-on to make sure you're getting a real phone number and not a pager or voice mail:

As she's writing down her phone number I say "Is this a number that you actually answer?" If she looks at me and hesitates, or says that it's her "voice mail or pager number," then I say "Look, write your real number down. It's going to be OK, I'll only call you nine times a day..." They laugh and usually give me their real number.

Now, if she answers my first question and says "No, I don't have email" then I bust on them and say "Well, do you have electricity?" This is a GREAT opportunity to use humor.

Then I say "Well, OK then. I like email better, but I'll take your regular phone number. It's so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days."

Just realize that all you have to do is ask.

Now that you know the sequence, write it down with the words and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over and over until you know exactly what to say for each step and each response.

Many guys have asked me "But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?" I've never had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she also knew why you asked.

Just assume that this is the case.

If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, assuming, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phone numbers. (Note: Carry a pen on you at all times.)

© 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.