It isn't easy, but perhaps this story might help us understand love (or atleast one aspect of it):
I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."
This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love ... they try to possess it, they demand, they expect ... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retreat from you.
For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don’t expect. Advise, but don’t order. Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring.
"All love is expansion, all selfishness is contraction. Love is therefore the only law of life. He who loves lives, he who is selfish is dying. Therefore love for love's sake, because it is law of life, just as you breathe to live." - Vivekananda
(The original author of this story is unknown, but it is often attributed to Vivekananda by many.)
Related » Unhealthy Relationships